Taliban to bid for Pamela Swimsuit

In a move to destroy, what it claims to be the most potent symbol of American cultural imperialism, the Taliban is planning to bid for the swimsuit that Pamela Anderson used in Baywatch.

Taliban
The Taliban Auction Team

“Inshallah, we’ll lay our hands on that filthy dress”, a Taliban leader told a private Pakistani news channel, yesterday. There was a minor controversy about the actual meaning of what was said, and some Pakistani intellectuals are still debating whether he said “lay our hands on” or “bring back home” or “cut with our swords”. But, they’re unanimous about the words “filthy dress”.

The filthy dress
The filthy dress

“There is no phrase in Pashto that translates to ‘laying our hands on'”, a senior Pashto scholar said over a panel debate, claiming that it’s most likely swords or daggers, that are being alluded to.

The red swimsuit in question, was worn by Pamela Anderson, while playing lifeguard C.J. Parker in the hit TV series “Baywatch“. The swinsuit is expected to fetch $2,900 when it goes under the hammer this month, as a part of the auction of Hollywood memorabilia.

“Price is no issue. Inshallah, we’ve enough opium to buy the whole of Hollywood if needed”, the leader added. “But we would like to start with destroying that filthy dress”.

US President Barack Obama has underplayed the threat, saying that the group belongs to what he calls ‘the good Taliban’, who “just like any honest, tax-paying, worrying-about-health-insurance, Americans, are just interested in buying the most sought-after piece of clothing in the whole of America, if not the world”.

There are reports that some Democratic Party senators are strongly opposing this threat of “outsourcing”. Obama administration is considering a 100% tax rebate, for any American who buys and keeps the swimsuit on American soil.

Taliban, meanwhile, is planning a public flogging of an effigy dressed with the red swimsuit, once they “lay their hands on that filthy dress”.

KBNN.

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3 thoughts on “Taliban to bid for Pamela Swimsuit

  1. Sorry Asuph, I’ll have to give this a Thumbs-Down. The humor was as threadbare as the filthy red dress. Anyways, am sure you will more than make up for it in next edition.. Cheers.

    Like

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