A Man Wakes Up To Find That His Name Is Unique After All

A Man Wakes Up To Find That His Name Is Unique After All:

Krasser Dawg, who likes to call himself Kresy Dawg, woke up in the middle of the night, after a virtual nightmare in which he saw his vanity url being taken away by someone else. On the fateful Friday night of June 12, Dawg was waiting — ready with his laptop and browser — for the stroke of midnight, along with millions of other internet users, for Facebook to unveil its vanity url feature. To his horror of horror, he dozed off at 11:59 PM, EDT, just a few seconds to the awaited moment.

“I cannot $%$$ believe it”, Dawg said later, talking to KB reporter. “I mean, I sat there for hours, unable to do anything else, waiting for that moment.  And just when it was seconds away, I dozed off. I was literally counting down seconds”, he added with a sheepish smile.

Could it because of all the stress?

“That’s not very common, but it’s not unheard of”, said Dr. Siddhartha Jain, a leading psychiatrist, who specializes in behaviorial effects of extreme mental stress. “Some human beings are known to have, what the psychologists call, the sleeping instinct. It’s a evolutionary freak of an instinct that helps certain organisms to deal with extreme mental stress. It’s triggered when brain detects unusually accelerating blood pressure, when it releases strong sedatives to avert an impending heart attack”.

Dawg woke up, at around 3 AM, drenched in sweat. He recalls a dream in which he typed what was do be his vanity url: http://facebook.com/Kresy.Dawg, and it took him to a Facebook profile of an African-American rap star. Fully awake then, he logged back into his laptop, and refreshed the pre-typed url, to check if his username was still available. It was.

“It was a mixed feeling”, he said. “I was a little relieved, and a little sad too. I mean sure, it’s great to get the vanity url, but what’s the #$$% fun, if there ain’t no competition?”

When told about the extreme stress theory, and that he could have had a heart attack, if it weren’t for the sleeping instinct, Dawg said that wasn’t so worried about that.

“No”, Dawg insisted, “I have already booked a legacy locker. I do not fear an offline death anymore”

Related News: Man sues a Hollywood star for stealing his vanity url.


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