Skeptics urge Spain to lose the World Cup Final

Paul the Psychic Octopus
Paul the Psychic Octopus

A skeptics group has approached the Spanish football team, urging them to lose their encounter against the Nederlands for a possible World Cup glory. Paul, the psychic Octopus, has already predicted a Spanish victory, after predicting a string of outcomes for the games involving the German team, including their shock defeat to Serbia, and their semi-final defeat to Spain — a prediction that was done on live television.

“It’s all rubbish, of course”, said the member of skeptics squad when questioned. “The Octopus is a perfect example of how people believe in weird things, and how they confuse cause and effect. The German team takes the Octopus’s predictions to their heart, and that causes the outcome to tilt in the direction of the prediction, just as stock markets move towards what analysts predict, because people believe in them”

The Octopus, who was provided top security by the German government, following Germany’s 4-0 victory over Argentina, and subsequent $1M reward put on its head by Argentine coach Diego Maradona, who has offered to eat the Octopus alive, if he ever gets near it. “I’ll sell cocaine on the streets if needed, to raise the money”, was the only comments KBNN could get from the Argentine legend.

The Spanish team is high on confidence, after the latest predictions by Paul, and a Spanish victory would make it that much difficult for skeptics to deny a possibility of psychic phenomenon, with public opinion already unanimous about Paul’s psychic abilities.

“Yes, we did approach the Spanish team asking them to lose the game”, said the Skeptic squad member, “If the Octopus is such a great psychic as he’s believe to be, then no matter what the Spanish team does, it should win”

But isn’t that ridiculous? Won’t it also have larger consequences for the Spanish team, such as a possible ban, besides, losing their biggest chance at glory.

“Football, after all, is just a game. There are much bigger issues at stake here. When people believe in weird things, weird things happen! Horrible things happen … We must fight this nonsense any which way. Unfortunately, the Spanish team seems to think otherwise. No one wants to fight the battle of reason”

Meanwhile, a leading Spanish daily has accused the Skeptics squad of being Nederland’s agents.

“They know, that with Paul with us, we cannot lose”, said the editorial, “and they’re getting desperate”

The German government, in the meanwhile, has removed the security given to Paul, as the aquarium owners decide between competing bids for him by an Argentine business tycoon, and the Spanish government.

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