America Embraces New ‘Thinning’ Superfood

Touted as the new ‘thinning’ Super-food, the Eskimo Berries, are gaining wider popularity in America, after it’s debut on the Oprah Winfrey Show, and a sustained viral marketing.

The Brain Thinners

“There is plenty of evidence to prove that the Eskimo Berries thin your brain”, said nurtrional expert Joel Katz. “Within weeks of taking this super-food, 99% of people have measurable decrease in their brain matter. They report feeling euphoric, and in general lighter”

Nutritional Scientists have identified a substance called  levidic-acid in the Eskimo berries, in abundant quantities.

“Levidic-acids have amazing anti-brain properties”, said Dr. Naresh Rao, a nutritional scientist working for American Nutrition Society, “In mice testing, they’ve managed to get rid of almost all brain matter in matter of weeks”

There are other foods that are known to have levidic-acids, Pretzels, for example, and raw squid. But Eskimo Berries have almost 30-50 times levidic-acid than these foods, and a whooping thousand times that of most other foods.

"How, when, where, not what"

Michael Pollan, Food journalist, and the author of Omnivore’s Dilemma, has dismissed it as another marketing gimmick that food corporations routinely come up with. “It’s not the berries that are thinning people’s brains”, he said in a lecture delivered to Whole Food Enthusiasts, a NY based group. “It’s not just what you eat, but how you eat, when you eat, and where you eat, and with what you eat it, that determines how what you eat affects you in general. But with brains, it’s how they’re washed is also an important factor”

 

He insisted that levidic-acids are another half-understood nutritional phenomenon, dismissing the claims of what he calls reductionist science.

“Many of the people who’re embracing this so-called super-food — I call it so called, because, if you have read any of my books, you’ll know that all food are super-foods, if you define food as I define it — are already losing their brain matter fast, so it’s not clear if levidic-acids can take the credit”

While food manufacturers are in a frantic race to come up with Eskimo Berries based products, including juices, spreads, powders and cake mixes, even sodas; in the Alaska where they’re grow in abundance, native people are happy to have finally got an exit route for them.

“In Yupic, one of the native languages of Alaska”, said an Alaskan scholar, who stays off the Eskimo Berries, “they’re called Anuk Berries. Anuk in Yupik means shit. They taste like shit. There is an Alaskan proverb which translated means: if it tastes like shit, it’s got to be healthy”.

Way before it was discovered as a super-food, though, the Eskimo berries have been a staple diet for some of the politicians from that region.

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