India to Send a Robot to Secuirty Council Meetings

To avoid repeat of recent fiasco, when Indian Externals Affair minister, S. M. Krishna, read a wrong speech at U. N. Security Council meeting, Indian government has decided to send a robot to read speeches at the UN henceforth.

India's Future in Speech Delivery?

“The robot will have programs in it to double-check what he is reading, and switch to the right speech as soon as possible, without external intervention. However, in the rare event that he realizes this late, or has to be corrected, he will be programmed to look appropriately embarrassed, and come up with a pre-configured excuse to suit the occasion”, said Dr. Anil Naik, who’s heading the team at C-DAC where the robot was developed, primarily for parliamentary speeches.

“We had to disable the auto-raise feature, that keeps raising the robot’s voice, when anyone else in the room is speaking, but otherwise, it’s the same robot”, confirmed Mr. Naik.

S. M. Krishna is furious about the development.

“The government is over-reacting”, he said, prompting his aides to remind him that he’s still the part of the government.

“I mean, look, what I’ve done has just raised India’s chances of getting a permanent security council membership — now that we’re seen to be so inclusive, to actually espouse other peoples’ causes”

The opposition parties are also upset over the move.

“We are already sending a robot there. What is the point of replacing that with another, costly one?”, said Arun Jaitely, talking on an NDTV panel debate.

“Arun, Arun, look at this way”, interjected Kapil Sibbal, “Robots have high capex, but low opex; ministers on the other hand, may come free, but their opex, as we all know, is quite high”

Dr. Manmohan Singh did not have much to comment at this time.

“I have all the reports piled up on my table. I’ll go through them, and only then can I comment. They must know what they are doing. I’m an old man, but I’m all for technology”

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