UPA Appoints Rahul Gandhi as Chief Embarrassment Officer

In a move that’s seen as the last step toward Rahul Gandhi’s elevation to UPA’s PM candidature, Congress party and other UPA allies passed a unanimous resolution to appoint Rahul Gandhi as UPA’s Chief Embarrassment Officer for 2014 election, a post formerly held by Mr. Digvijay Singh.

Sir, which shaving cream do you use?
Sir, which shaving cream do you use?

“I have never wanted to be the PM”, said Mr. Gandhi talking to reporters, “my aim is to entertain the people, and I’ve realized that by embarrassing my party, I maximize the entertainment for maximum number of people”

UPA government has also revealed its plans to raise money for 2014 elections by charging citizens of India entertainment tax every time Rahul Gandhi gave a public appearance.

“It’s an honor for me that I can entertain a billion people who have not much to smile about”

UPA government has also mooted RGNREGA program, as an answer to criticisms from all quarters of its ambitious MGNREGA program. The program, a proposed act – Rahul Gandhi National Regular Entertainment Guaranty Act – will guarantee at least 100 days of entertainment every financial year, for every adult and child in the country, failing which, Rahul Gandhi will personally make as many public speeches as needed to take care of the entertainment shortfall.

The Winning Strategy
The Winning Strategy

“Non-sense”, he shouted calmly, “If you ask me, MGNREGA was a non-sense program, and I’m sorry to say this as a vice-president of the party that implemented it. People do not really need employment. They need to laugh every day to counter the hardships of their lives. And I will say this to any political party that cares to listen – let me repeat that – I will say this to any party that cares to listen, we must change the political system in this country till every person has something to smile about. Till that day, I will take it upon myself that job. Like my father, and my grand-mother, who gave their lives for this country, I will give up my smile to make them smile”

No one from the BJP was available for the comment as they were stunned by this bomb-shell by Congress Vice-President that effectively undermines every BJP strategy to come to power in 2014.

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