Indian Government Retaliates by Enrolling US Diplomats with Same-Sex Partners into Ramdev Corrective Yoga Program

Indian government today retaliated strongly against the United States of America in the Devyani Khobragade arrest case by enrolling all non-heterosexual US diplomats and their partners into Ramdev Corrective Yoga Program with immediate effect.

“That will teach them a lesson”, said a senior Government of India official on the condition of anonymity.

Insisting that what was being done to Devyani was barbaric, the official claimed that India must repay in kind.

Not what it looks
Not what it looks

Baba Ramdev, who recently asked all Congress ministers to enroll voluntarily into the program, to cure their homosexuality, has insisted that he will leave no stone unturned to reform the US diplomats, also hinting that once 2014 elections are over, and BJP is in power, Modi will send all Congress ministers to his corrective Yoga center anyways, to make India “Congress Mukt”.

“Congress ministers are corrupt because they’re homosexuals“, said Baba Ramdev, “and once we change that, those ministers would no longer want to be in Congress or even in politics, as they would be cured of all wrong inclinations”

Baba Ramdev Corrective Yoga Program was started by Baba Ramdev after his anti-corruption protests were forcefully thwarted by the Congress led UPA government, with the sole intention of cleansing India of corruption, which according to him emanated from the corruption of sexuality. Congress ministers are offered a free entry to the program, but so far, no one has joined it, and there was a growing concern about economic viability of the program.

“Our culture does not allow for barbaric response”, said a Rajnath Singh, president of India’s principal opposition party BJP, “we believe in reform, not retaliation, so we will reform all erring US diplomats and their families by teaching them yoga lessons that our great saint Baba Ramdev has invented”

That will teach them a lesson -- yoga lesson I mean
“Our culture does not allow for barbaric response”

Responding to questions about whether he defends Devyani’s actions, he said, “Indian culture has always treated maids with utmost respect, and we’re not a materialistic society. We don’t pay our maids in cash, but in kind. We call them amma, mausi, didi, and so on”

“Do you pay your mother, your aunt, in minimum wage terms?”, he asked.

Arvind Kejariwal of the Aam Aadmi Party has hit out at Congress and BJP for playing as a team once again. “This is just a scheme to route huge sums of money to Baba Ramdev who is a BJP stooge. We have documents which we would be uploading to our website which show that last year when Baba Ramdev decided to call off the hunger strike, BJP and Congress had worked out a deal for him. It is all pre-arranged”

Congress president Rahul Gandhi snubbed our reporter by not meeting her, as she was seen talking with an American diplomats yesterday.


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