Kandabatata is actively soliciting talented, independent minded, writers
who have a great eye for truth, in its various shapes, smells, colors, and sounds.
Kandabatata offers worst of Industry package, that’s unmatched anywhere in the world, as of present, with no real chance of that changing anytime soon.
To understand the excitement of working with Kandabatata (c), read the terms and conditions of the contract that Kandabatata offers its reporters, and special correspondents:
BEGIN: Terms and Conditions
Unless otherwise specified, the following terms mean following things:
KBNN: KandaBatata News Networks (unregistered, anti-profit organization)
Employee: You (if you qualify)
1. Pay: We believe that work that’s done for pay is hideous, and brings nothing but dissatisfaction to the worker. Hence, KBNN will, on a matter of principal, not pay you today, or ever. We care too much for the soul of our ’employee’.
2. Working Hours: An ’employee’ is expected to put in one minute, per day, thinking about crunchy headlines. Preferably, ’employee’ should work from home. There too, ’employee’ is encouraged to work from toilet, with an ipod or some such device. We do not encourage the use of toilet paper for writing down the news, owing to our commitment
3. Content: We believe in printing only the things that one believes to be true from the bottom of one’s heart. Reality can change. Not what one holds true at the bottom of one’s heart. We do not believe in editorial policy. Employee is just requested to try not to land the
management into legal hassles. Still, we reserve the right to remove your content from our website at whim, never on principle.
4. Termination: Both parties are free to break this working relationship, provided the ‘breaking’ party gives 1 seconds notice, or pays the other party the 1 second’s pay (calculated on a pro–rata basis from ‘clause 1′) at the time of the said termination.
5. Any change in this agreement from KBNN will be consider its implicit termination, and KBNN will have to abide by the terms of termination (refer clause 4). Similarly, any request to change this agreement will be considered instantaneous termination of this
agreement, from the ’employee’.
6. In case of 5, a redrafted agreement will have to be drawn, if the ’employee’ and ‘KBNN’ were to work together again. But mostly, no clauses will be dropped or added.
7. Solicitation: At any point, you’re allowed to solicit employees of KBNN to work for any other company. You will get a ‘solicitation bonus’, equivalent to 3 months pay (calculated on pro-rata basis from terms in clause 1.
8. Anti-Trust activities: KBNN deems activities such as reading/writing for ‘theonion.com‘, or similar news sources that are in competition with KBNN, as Anti-Trust activities. If an ’employee’ is found to be engaged in such activities, s/he will be promoted, with 30% pay rise, and will be required to put in 30% more work (refer to 2).
9. Everything in this agreement could be violated without any regard for any laws, anywhere.
END of Terms and Conditions
We look forward to working with you if you have the talent. Do drop us a line with your samples.